What Are We Doing?
by normero1546
Summary: Alternative to the scene in 3x05. I always love this scene because I think it was one of the first times you see how much Alex means to Norma. I like how when he pulls her into his arms, she calms down immediately. This is a one-shot of what should have happened after their embrace. Hope you enjoy:)


"Dammit!" she yelled as she kicked my door over and over again. Suddenly, I was rushing towards her, grabbing her arm and pulling her into my chest as she sobbed into my shoulder. As her breathing slowed and she began to calm down, I wrapped an arm around her waist and she turned her face into my neck, her lips brushing the skin just below my jaw.

I swallowed hard and tried to make my voice sound normal. "Alright, I'll go with you," I said quietly, turning my face towards the ceiling, trying to get away from her scent to clear my head.

She moaned softly and whispered, "You will?" as she lifted her face up to look in my eyes. I clenched my jaw and looked down at her.

"Yeah, I said I'll go and I'll go." She pulled back farther, glancing down at my lips before meeting my eyes once again. I loosened my grip on her arm, preparing myself to let her leave. But she stayed where she was, glancing down at my lips again.

I froze. _Was I just imagining this or does she really want me as much as I want her?_ I flinched towards her unthinkingly and she looked in my eyes again, her pupils growing larger and her expression changing. I wasn't imagining this.

Hesitantly, I reached my hand up to touch her cheek, silently asking for permission. She leaned towards me slowly and I closed the rest of the space between us, touching my lips to hers lightly. A low hum came from the back of her throat and she reached up to entwine our fingers against her cheek.

I pulled back then to look in her eyes. She looked very conflicted and I could see her guard coming up again. As much as I wanted to continue, and Jesus did I want to continue, I had to know why she was so guarded. The last thing I would ever want to do is take advantage of her.

"What are we doing?" I asked her as she let go of my hand and her arm dropped to her side. I kept my hand in place against her cheek, letting my finger trace down her jaw.

She looked down then, fighting back tears. "I have to go," she said completely shutting down.

"I don't want you to go," I said back quietly, placing my finger under her chin to encourage her to look at me again. When she finally looked up, her expression had hardened and her jaw was clenched.

She reached up and pulled my hand away from her face. I let my arm drop to my side and stared at her in defeat.

"Will you please unlock the door?" she asked, stepping away from me. I stood there for a second, my heart breaking.

Then, without breaking eye contact, I reached out to my side and turned the lock on the deadbolt. She stared at me for a moment longer before I saw something change in her expression. Her eyes softened and I thought, for a moment, she was going to stay with me. But she turned her head, opened the door, and walked down the steps towards her car.

Suddenly, I had an overwhelming urge to go after her. I ran down the steps and caught up to her quickly. I wrapped my arms around her waist, standing behind her and whispered in her ear, "Please don't leave me, Norma."

I felt her shaking beneath me as I held her tightly. Her body sagged slightly as she let the sobs overtake her. She turned around in my embrace and looked into my eyes. I reached up to wipe the tears from her cheeks and she whispered, "I don't know how to do this, Alex. I'm so scared."

"What are you scared of?" I asked stroking her face gently.

"I don't want to lost you and if this doesn't work out, it will never be the same," she said staring down at her hands as she spoke.

"Norma, I will never hurt you. Ever. I swear. I promise that I will always keep you safe. Please just let me make love to you. I just want to hold you in my arms and tell you everything will be okay. And I want to continue to tell you every single day for the rest of my life. Because I love you Norma. I really do."

I couldn't believe I just said all of that. I had been holding it in for far too long and I was done hiding my feelings.

She stared at me, her tears ceasing and suddenly, she looked brave. She looked so fearless and strong. She was breathtaking.

She stepped towards me slowly, my arms winding tighter around her waist, and she pressed her lips to mine once again. I groaned softly in my throat and opened my mouth to brush my tongue against hers.

It was slow and loving how we moved then, her arms twining around my neck as I lifted her off the ground and her legs wrapped around my waist. I continued to kiss her as I carried her up the steps and back into my house, kicking the door shut behind us.

Her lips moved to my neck then as I carried her up the stairs to my room. When I laid her down gently on the bed, I pulled back to look in her eyes once again.

"Make love to me, Alex," she whispered and I bit back a groan.

I wanted to rip off her clothes and take her right then and there, but I promised myself a million times that the first time we made love, it would be slow and gentle.

"Norma," I whispered, stroking her face from her hairline down over her cheekbone, across her jawline and down her neck to the top button of her sweater.

Slowly, I leaned down to press my lips to hers as I undid her buttons one by one. I peeled back her sweater and brushed my hand down her side to her hip.

She reached her hands up to cradle my neck and crushed her lips against mine, opening her mouth and pushing her tongue into mine. She grabbed my shirt roughly and pulled it over my head. Her hands ran down my chest to the button of my pants and I began to lose focus.

I pulled back again and touched her cheek so she would look me in the eye. She stared up at me in confusion and I smiled softly back at her.

"Slow down, baby," I said and her breath caught in her throat, her face flushing.

"I don't know how to do slow," she admitted sheepishly.

"What do you mean?" I asked, suddenly feeling my heart ache for the life she must have known.

She brought her hand up to cover her eyes. "Please don't hide from me," I said before leaning down to kiss the back of her hand.

She pulled her hand away and there were tears in her eyes. "I've never made love with anyone. No one has ever taken care of me and sex has always been painful and scary. I don't know how to do this," she said looking everywhere but in my eyes.

I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach. It made me nauseous thinking of the miserable, sick fucks that ever even thought of taking advantage of such a perfect person. I closed my eyes, shaking my head as a tear escaped and rolled down my cheek.

I felt her finger brush the tear away and my throat constricted as I fought the sadness that tried to consume me. "What is it?" she asked, stroking my cheek.

I opened my eyes and stared at her. "I just can't even begin to imagine what you have been through," I started. "You just deserve so much better, Norma. You make my heart stop every time I see you. I love you so much," I said, not holding anything back anymore.

She looked up at me, something in her eyes telling me she didn't believe it. When she opened her mouth to speak, she froze and no words came out. After a few moments, she inhaled deeply, closing her eyes and whispered, "I love you too, Alex."

In that moment, everything changed. I knew that I could never let her go. I knew that if I ever lost her, I wouldn't want to live any longer. She was my forever.

My face broke out in the widest grin I could possibly muster. She opened her eyes again and when she saw my expression, she smiled back at me.

I couldn't contain myself any longer. I began kissing everything I could reach; her cheeks, her nose, her neck, her collarbones. She laughed under me and it was the most beautiful sound my ears could ever hear.

I pulled the sleeve of her sweater down over her shoulder, her bra strap coming with it and kissed the top of her breast. Her laugh was soon replaced with a quiet moan and she shivered beneath me as I pulled the cup of her bra down slowly, softly pressing my lips to her nipple.

Her fingers twisted into my hair and her head fell back on the pillow. I could feel myself growing harder by the second but my need for release was not nearly as strong as my need to cherish every inch of her glorious body.

Her leg came up to wrap itself around my waist, pulling me flush against her center. Simultaneously, we gasped as we felt our need for each other. Suddenly, I took her whole breast into my mouth, swirling my tongue around her nipple before nipping it softly.

"Alex.." she moaned, raking her fingers down my back. My lips moved to her neck as I reached down to unzip her pants.

Briefly, I sat back on my heels to pull her pants completely off while she laid there staring at me, panting in anticipation.

When I had rid her of her panties, she sat up to pull her sweater completely off. Then she reached behind her to unhook her bra, sliding it off and throwing it across the room, all the while maintaining eye contact with me.

She laid back on the bed, completely naked, and stared up at me, waiting for me to make a move.

But I didn't.

I couldn't.

Because I was looking at the most beautiful thing I could have ever imagined. And she loved me. I was overcome, once again, with wonder at the sight of the love of my life completely exposed and vulnerable to me.

She smiled at me once again as I stared at her shamelessly.

"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever see," I said.

The smile dropped from her face and her eyes softened, her expression becoming much more serious. "I need you, Alex," she said before reaching down to unbuckle my belt.

My head was spinning and I swear I had never felt more happy.

She struggled to unbutton my pants so I lightly pushed her hands away and ripped them off as quickly as I could.

When I settled myself back on top of her, I brushed her hair away from her face so I could look into her eyes. I lined myself up with her entrance and pushed my way inside as her eyes fell shut and she sighed.

I groaned as I felt her muscles clench around me. I kissed her lips softly as I pulled out and pushed back into her even slower this time. I picked up the pace, slightly, kissing every part of her I could reach as our moans grew louder.

The minutes stretched on as I worshipped her body and she sighed and gasped beneath me. I could feel myself getting closer, so I brought my thumb down to press against her clit.

She bucked beneath me and her moans turned into a rushed jumble of words I couldn't quite understand.

"Come for me," I whispered in her ear as I flicked my thumb back and forth against her and thrust into her frantically. "You are mine, forever, Norma. I want you to come for me, baby," I grunted before biting down on her earlobe.

"Alex!" she screamed as she reached the peak of her orgasm.

I let myself go then, a thousand nerves on fire throughout my body as I clutched her tightly and whispered, "I love you," over and over in her ear.

As our panting slowed, I kissed her lips and rolled onto my side, dragging her with me. We stared into each others' eyes for several minutes before she closed her eyes, smiled and said, "I love you, Alex. Forever."


End file.
